Time management is a misnomer. We manage what we do, we don’t manage our time. Time is what it is; seconds, minutes, hours… there is no stopping it. Our success and happiness are dependent on what we do with our time. Making choices about what we do with each hour is what we really have control over.
Putting first things first is a conscious choice to have a proactive approach to our day. There are a multitude of things we can do each minute of the day. Without thinking too much, we might find ourselves entrenched in something that may not align with our personal or professional well-being. Successful people recognize how they are spending their time and they mind their business. In other words, they put their energy into what is important and push away the distractions that may not be important or urgent.
The Leader In Me system of thinking that we use at Almond Acres illustrates this idea nicely with Quadrant Thinking. The matrix below identifies and organizes how we spend our time based on how productive we can be.
Looking closely at this matrix, you can see that Quadrant 1 is made up of tasks of the utmost necessity. We attend to these daily, and as needed, throughout our lives. Quadrants 3 & 4 can swallow up much of our time, allowing us to neglect not just what is important and urgent, but also what is important, but not urgent. It is in these two quadrants that most of us spend our time—it’s the path of least resistance.
It’s interesting that we use the words “spend our time”. When we look at our day as an opportunity to invest ourselves in life, it becomes clear that we would rather spend wisely.
Spending our time wisely is Q2 Thinking. Like fire prevention, we put our attention to the things that will benefit us now and in the future. As a parent, putting my time and energy into growing great kids should suppress many problems in the future. It’s about being proactive.
When we spend most of our time on things that are important but not urgent, we are putting first things first. Parents realize that the urgent and important are also critical and must be attended to, but minding our Quadrant 2 business is powerful. It forces the mindless tasks to the bottom of our list and makes the best use of our limited time.
One of my favorite lessons in the Middle School Pathways program is the rocks and sand exercise that is illustrated in this video, The Pickle Jar. It is a clear metaphor for getting our priorities straight and finding ways to be more intentional about our life and likely, being able to achieve more than we may have thought possible.
Happy and successful people are great at spending their time and talent on what is most important to them; heart, mind, body, and soul. You can help your children examine their priorities by asking them about each of the AACA colors:
🔵 Heart – Who are the most important people in your life?
🟡 Mind – What topics do you enjoy learning about most?
🔴 Body – How do you like to spend time physically? (favorite sports, hobbies… )
🟢 Soul – Why are you so special?
The other important message tied to this week’s habit is knowing what is important and urgent, and what is important but not urgent. Sorting the tasks and activities in our lives between these two ideas helps to keep our plates from feeling too heavy. I have attached a simple guide that may support our families in organizing our week/month and helping us to be intentional about our time and talents. I encourage you to print it, talk about it, and decide as a family how you can best use the precious asset of your time.
Almond Acres Charter Academy is a public, tuition-free K-8 school that employs credentialed teachers and administers state-mandated testing to provide families in northern SLO County an additional choice in public education. Located in Paso Robles in a newly built, state-of-the-art facility, AACA is open to all students from all communities. AACA’s mission is to help students succeed academically and socially by educating the whole child: heart, mind, body and soul. We grow great kids!
Caring is the constant time and energy we put into our relationships, self, and stuff. Ultimately, our care expresses our love and develops the deep relationships we share. As we remind ourselves and our children what caring is, make it simple. Help them to see that the littlest gestures, the frequent efforts, the constant affirmations – these are the caring episodes of life that make a difference and provide the life and love that nurtures gratitude in our hearts and willingness in our days to reach out to make our home, school, and community a more pleasant place to live.
Heart – reach out to a friend with a smile and a helping hand.
Mind – spend extra time practicing academic skills.
Body – give/get 8 hugs a day!
Soul – think about the talents you share with others.
“A caring person in your life is like a heartbeat. A heartbeat isn’t visible, but silently supports your life.” – Unknown Author
“Some people care too much; I think it’s called love.” – A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
Fair ball, fair catch, it’s in the fairway. Playing fair is a pretty easy concept when it comes to sports, and now that we have instant replay, it assures it. Playing fair is pretty clear and expected on the field. Ironically, the game of life is, all too often, not so fair. How do we help our children understand that we should fight for fairness, but learn to productively cope with the inequities and injustices that challenge our days?
Rutgers professor, Elizabeth Tricomi, PhD., studied the concept of fairness and discovered that it is something hardwired in our brains and an expectation by the youngest of children. Moreover, we tend to have an inherent desire to see the underdog win and the playing field equalized. Helping our children to be fair and promote justice is a daily challenge for parenting and educating children. One of my favorite simple parenting principles is to be “firm, fair, & friendly” when our wits are at an end. When we take a deep breath, gather our wits, and speak with truth and love, our children will learn to do the same.
Fair Phrases
Here are a few phrases that we can teach our kids to help them use intelligent remarks instead of hurtful ones:
“Tell not yell.”
“Be mad, but not mean.”
“Be helpful, not hateful.”
Blame and shame words v. Playing fair words
Liar! v. I heard you say something different before.
You cheated! v. I don’t think that’s how this game is played. The rule is…
You’re a tattle tale! v. I wish you would tell me first when you don’t like something I did.
Move over! v. I don’t have enough room. Could you move?
You’re not the boss of me! v. I don’t like it when you give me orders.
You’re not my friend anymore! v. I don’t like what you said about me. It hurt me.
You’re so mean! v. Stop teasing me. I don’t like it.
“Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.” – Dennis Wholey
“Fair doesn’t mean giving every child the same thing; it means giving every child what they need to succeed”. – Rick Lavoie
At the start of the school year, we shared, taught, encouraged, and expected our children to learn and live the first five habits of citizenship–to be trustworthy, respectful, responsible, fair, and caring. These citizenship traits involve key principles that grow strong citizens. We began with these because we were beginning with the end in mind. This week’s habit from the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is Begin with the End in Mind.
Choosing the direction where we want to end up is just plain smart. When our lives are grounded on sound principles, the direction we move and live guides us toward a happier and more successful life. There is an old saying that “a man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder”. A ship without a rudder worries about the water, and without direction, can easily lose its way. The captain, with a hand on the rudder, guides it to its destination. It is way too easy in our modern society to get caught up in an abundance of things to do, thoughts to think, and places to go. Without a rudder directed by our principles, we can easily stray from our course. Guided by the end in mind and strengthened with the power of positive principles, each and every child can achieve the success they seek and deserve.
Practice the Habit of “Begin With the End in Mind”
This week, practice Stephen Covey’s habit of “Begin With the End in Mind”:
Heart – Talk about your favorite hero and the principles he/she lives by.
Mind – Develop a personal or family mission statement that describes your values, roles, and goals.
Body – Set a specific goal for a favorite skill, sport, or hobby.
Soul – Consider what kind of person you want to be and list 3-5 activities that will help you to be that person.
Thoughts to Think About
“Control your own destiny or someone else will.” – Jack Welch
“Curiosity is the spark behind the spark of every great idea. The future belongs to the curious.” -Get Fit Be True
“Many hands make light work!” Words such as community, harmony, teamwork, family, and synergy express the outcomes of people working and living together cooperatively. It is nice to know that we live with others who are willing and able to help us be a better version of ourselves.
Thinking interdependently is one of the habits that uses many of the habits we have already practiced: flexibility, listening with understanding, thinking win-win, sacrifice, communicating with clarity, and so on. Thinking interdependently recognizes that our lives are happier and more successful when we work together.
Our effort between school and home to raise healthy and intelligent young people may be our most important interdependent relationship. When we share the same philosophy about educating children and teach meaningful habits, we more than double the influence on their minds.
It is clear to neuroscientists that the link between interdependence and learning is profound. When children believe that they are not alone and they have help from teachers and peers, the level of stress to learn diminishes dramatically. Knowing that we are never alone is a powerful defense against fear and a boost for success.
Here are a few ways we can practice the habit of SYNERGY:
Heart – purposely help a friend struggling with a problem.
Mind – read a story with someone and individually speak the parts of the characters.
Body – work together to complete a set of chores instead of working alone.
Soul – share how your personal smarts help others.
“Many hands make light work” – English poet John Heywood, 1546
“It is good to rub and polish our brain against that of others.” – Michael De Montaigne
“We must never become too busy sawing to take time to sharpen the saw.”
Dr. Stephen R. Covey
We all use tools to help us throughout our day. The condition and quality of those tools are essential to how we perform: a sushi chef requires sharp knives for the perfect slice, a painter washes and dries his brushes so they may be used again, and a potter keeps unused clay moist so it is easy to work with. Caring for our tools makes us better at what we do. In our everyday lives, we also rely on tools to perform at our best: our hearts, minds, and bodies.
Built into our philosophy at Almond Acres’ is the mission to grow children’s hearts, minds, bodies, and souls. Along with that growth, we teach our students that it’s important to balance work with rest and renewal. Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw is all about finding balance.
Sharpen the Saw
You probably know what it feels like to “have a dull saw.” It may show up as exhaustion or disinterest. It may feel like a 3rd cup of coffee to get going for the day. For kids, it may be that feeling right before bedtime, when they’ve hit the wall and even going to bed sounds impossible. It feels like being “hangry” (angry because you are hungry) just before dinner because you missed lunch. In short, it’s no fun.
If we continually seek improvement without caring for ourselves, we will experience burnout—our saws will dull. And without a sharp saw, we can’t continue to grow and be at our best.
How Do We Do It?
Rest and relaxation aren’t all about sitting on the sofa to watch tv (although, if that is rejuvenating to you, do it!). We have to pay attention to our whole selves. Here are some examples of activities that renew us as we seek balance:
Heart: “Carefree timelessness” in meaningful social connections with family, friends, and community members are revitalizing. Laughing with a friend and having fun is a great way to strengthen your heart.
Mind: Reading great books, journaling, and engaging in puzzling activities stimulates your brain and sharpens your focus. Learning is one way to take care of your brain!
Body: A healthy dose of sleep, diet, and exercise. Are you moving your body every day? Have you filled up on nourishing food? Are you getting adequate sleep? No one can keep moving on an empty tank.
Soul: Enter the “classroom of silence”. Expand your spiritual self through prayer, meditation, art, music, or spending time in nature. Any activity that fills your cup is rejuvenating to your soul.
As we renew each part of ourselves, we leave room for growth and change. We increase our capacity, our resilience in the face of challenge, and our ability to give. Self-care is not selfish!
Sharpening the saw for children might look different from an adult. It might mean learning to rest after a busy day at school by relaxing with a good book or painting. Or maybe your child balances a passion for video games with breaks outside to move his body and breathe fresh air. Finding balance is deeply personal and how we do that will change as we grow.
In a world that teaches us that we must constantly be moving and doing, Almond Acres aims to help students seek balance. We model rest and recharging so that we can be at our best, everyday. How do you sharpen your saw? How do you help your children sharpen their saws?
About AACA
Almond Acres Charter Academy is a public, tuition-free K-8 school that employs credentialed teachers and administers state-mandated testing to provide families in northern SLO County an additional choice in public education. Open to all students from all communities, AACA is located in Paso Robles. AACA’s mission is to help students succeed academically and socially by educating the whole child: heart, mind, body and soul. We grow great kids!
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